A Harrowing Family Staycation

One mysterious old house. Two young siblings. One childhood chum. A Shetland pony rarely starring in the story. Excess potty humour to lower the IQ. An absence of political correctness. A hint of cynicism. And a speckling of characters of questionable likeability are some of the unnecessary ingredients in this harrowing juvenile adventure.

Suitable reading for the quasi-adult struggling with arrested development. Don't waste your time. If you have anything marginally interesting to do (like organize the recycling, watch the neighbours perm their dog, or trim your grandma's nose hairs) run from this book and engross yourself with that instead. Guaranteed to be a more responsible investment of your life.

You're welcome.